Refreshing Waters

You’ve never had water until you’ve dipped your hand in an ice cold mountain stream and brought the crisp, clean water to your lips after a good walk. Oh, it is delicious! The water is untouched by chemicals (yes, I know that it has been touched by various woodland creatures), and tastes like nothing else. The memory of that water is one of my fondest childhood memories. I can still remember how cold it was and how clean it tasted.

I was reading in Proverbs 17 today, and came across verse 4 – “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” It is so true that words can be just as refreshing as that cold stream that I drank from as a child. They can revive a person that is parched from life.
As moms, we can refresh each other with our words. It seems that few things wear us down like the journey of motherhood. There are those places and people along the way that are just like a cold spring who renew our strength using just their words. It can be a mentor that stays with you for the whole journey. Maybe it’s just that sweet person behind you in the checkout aisle at the grocery store that’s “been there” and tells you that you’re doing a great job at handling your rambunctious crew when you think that you’ve, yet again, failed as a mom.

It has been evident to me on more than one occasion that moms can reach other moms in a special way. We have the power to encourage each other, to make each other reach higher levels. We also have the power to destroy dreams and spirits. Just log onto just about any forum sight out there and you will find perfect examples of both and this is heartbreaking. We have comfort happening in one discussion and venomous words spewing in another. Before going any further, let me say that when the health and safety of a child is involved then correction is needed. I do not think that when a child is being hurt in any way that fellow mothers should be silent. With that said, let me continue. A difference of opinion is what typically brings about these heated exchanges. In some cases several contributors might gang up on the one that has a differing opinion.

I know that as moms, we are passionate. We’re passionate about almost anything that involves our kids. I think God made us this way for a reason. It creates something in us that enables us to take care of our children, and when used in that manner it is a wonderful thing. However, when we verbally assault another mom because she may not hold something quite as dear as we do, many times it crushes her spirit. Perhaps she questions whether or not she is a fit mother. She may doubt her abilities. She may try to fit into a mold that was never intended to be hers.

It really does sadden me to see this going on. Places where moms are able to connect, whether it is in person or on the computer, should be a place where moms can find comfort, shelter, friendship, strength, and information. Maybe the information aspect will persuade them to do something differently or just have a greater respect for those that do hold another opinion.

I’m not perfect at this. Although, I am not one for confrontation I frequently find myself fuming over the decision of another mom. It isn’t hurting the child, but according to my research and opinion is not best. I may still hold my opinion, but it doesn’t excuse me from being to that mom what we should all be to each other – “life giving water and refreshing brooks” through our words.

Nothing for Today...and Yet...

I have to be honest, I really have nothing today. I have pondered all day what to share with you all and I keep coming back to...nothing. Do you ever have those days?

On these type of days, I face some of my biggest challenges as a mom. I feel a little lost and everything that tries to beckon me out of the fog and back into a clear world is a nuisance. Patience is thin and vision is blurred. And with my vision blurred I start to question other things, such as my place as a stay at home mom. I doubt my calling. I think that is the worst part about these types of days. I hate not having goals and a vision, well at least not being able to see them clearly and pursue them with a decided course. I lose sight of who I am and what my place is here.

I know my little guy picks up on this. He gets confused because mommy is in "a funk." No matter how I try to act normal, he can always tell in his young mind.

I can't help but think of the character that Meg Ryan plays in You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly. She is owns a children's bookstore, the same one that her mother owned. One day, she asks her boyfriend what it is that she actually does to which he replies that she is a "lone reed." I think of this on those days and I ask myself, "What is it that I do?" But the answer of "lone reed" is not accurate. That's what I want to get across with this post because I know that almost every mom out there asks herself this question from time to time. This is one of the things that I want to communicate with this blog: that we all fail sometimes, sometimes we all lose sight of vision, we all have days where we feel like "supermom," we all have days that everything is clear and life is a beautiful thing. Be encouraged that many other moms have shared in what your day is today whether it's a great one or a challenge. We've all been there or will soon have our day in that place.

This is not a post for pity, but is instead just something encouraging sent out to, in Kathleen's words, the void. So, as Kathleen would say "goodnight void," I hope you've found this to be encouraging. I know I have.

The Heart of a Mother

Let’s go back to the verse that started all of this, Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do,” and bring it back to the central reason for this blog, the journey of motherhood. As moms, it is especially important because “all” includes our way of mothering.

The importance of the heart isn’t lost on one of the greatest pediatrician’s ever to practice (well, at least in my opinion). Throughout her 75 year practice she taught moms that they already have what they need to be great moms, and it did not include having a good pediatrician for your child. I completely agree. Armed with common sense, responsibility, and our hearts, we have been provided with the best equipment possible to be great moms.

Knowing that our heart affects all that we do also calls attention to a warning: what happens when your heart isn’t as it is supposed to be? What if it is filled with bitterness or worry? What if doubts have taken root in our heart? I know that I can see when I have a new unwanted visitor in my heart. I see it in living color as I interact with my son. It negatively affects the way that I act towards him. That is when I know to do as David did (see Enemies of Another Kind post), do what I can do, offer the rest to God, then praise Him for the victory as I watch Him defeat that enemy. Immediately, after the problem has been uprooted I see a difference in my mothering.

What happens, though, when it is a deep rooted issue? When the enemy has been housed in your heart for a long time? Maybe you carry scars from childhood. Maybe when you were a teenager you received one of those arrows that Brent Curtis and John Eldridge spoke of (see Small Visitors Can Cause Big Problems)in their book. First, professional assistance, such as counseling, may be needed. However, whether you need professional assistance is needed or not, the process outlined by David still applies. The only difference is that the process will be a longer one, but one in which there will be progress. And progress is a victory in itself. Just pursue those little victories and praise God for every one of them. One day you’ll do an inventory on your heart and find that your heart has changed and for the better.

The heart is also where God whispers to us. For me, it has been extremely important to keep my heart in a place where God can speak through it. It has been in His whispers that I have found the most profound advice in how to be the mom He has called me to be. He knows what our children need because He made them. He knows what they cannot communicate when they are very small or just don’t understand. He can lead you in the journey of motherhood like no one else can. His whispers bring answers and peace; your heart just needs to be a place to hear Him.

I encourage you not to forget your heart after the pink and red decorations come down. Always keep an eye on it, guard it. And when you find that something is knocking, make sure that the only one you let in is your Savior who will only bring with Him the greatest love ever known. With that love there is no limit to the kind of mom you can be for your kids.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope it is a great one!

Enemies of Another Kind

I sigh and roll my eyes again - another psalm about people coming to kill me. Well, there couldn’t possibly be anything for me in here, on to the next one. About a year ago, this was a frequent thought when reading through King David’s writings. Then one day I stopped, because God whispered something to me that changed my view completely. “You know, not all enemies are physical.” Well, there’s a different perspective! So, I went back to the one I had begun reading in the first place and read it with a different mindset, one that saw enemies as some of the things I discussed in the last post. And, as we discussed earlier, those are enemies that can kill your heart. Sometimes, because they have killed your heart they can affect you physically, but that’s another subject.

The best part though, was yet to come. In most of these types of psalms, the writer sets the scene first. He describes the horrible things that are happening to him at the hands of those trying to kill him. Our unseen enemies do the same thing. But, then the writer leaves the subject of his enemies overwhelming him, and turns to praising God for the victory he wins over all that are pursuing him! These psalms are usually finished with praise to God who has delivered him.

What does this mean for us as we wrestle with those enemies? God will defeat those unseen enemies too! Get into His Word, claim the promises about the defeat of your enemies, draw close to Him, and watch what He will do. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we sit back and relax. God still expects us to do our part. There are times when our part is hard work. David had to fight His physical enemies at times, and we also have to fight against our enemies of doubt, bitterness, and the like. However, we are not alone. When we feel that we are losing the battle, that there just isn’t anything else we can do, God takes us further and wins the victory.

So, whatever your enemy, or maybe you struggle with several, do what you know you can do, stay close to God by seeking Him in His Word, and give the rest to Him. You’ll find yourself doing as David did, ending that battle praising God for the victory He one.

What are some of your favorite scriptures when you are facing an enemy of your heart? Which ones grow your faith the most?

Psalm 18:3 – I will call on the Lord, who is worthy if praise, for He saves me from my enemies.

Small Visitors Can Cause Big Problems

So, now we know that we need to guard our hearts and give that task the attention it deserves, in much the same way that we “child proof” our homes. But like “child proofing”, it can be an overwhelming undertaking to know exactly what we need to secure our hearts against. I know there is a multitude of threats that endanger our hearts and I’m sure you’ve already thought of many of them. I’m not going to do an exhaustive list of the more obvious, but instead I will give just a few examples of the ones that many times will go overlooked.

No matter how much research and careful attention we pay to what needs to be out of reach of tiny hands, there’s always something that we just don’t think about until we see the child with it or crawling into it. It is very similar with the heart. Our guard is up in all the other places, but we let our biggest foes sneak through in ways we just didn’t expect. These foes are the unnoticeable ones, that is, until they get rooted and grow. Then they are the ones that do the most damage and are the most difficult to get rid of. I’m referring to things like bitterness, resentment, and worry.

They can make their way in through words and actions. Someone wrongs you or maybe one too many bad things have happened to you. Unknowingly, we feed and water these little weeds. Something triggers a bitter thought which is followed by another which leads to another. The next thing you know, you’re in a foul mood with nothing but bitter thoughts filling your mind. The day, full of blessings, has been stolen and is now a gray haze of anger. Where did it all start? It’s hard to remember. It usually starts with just the smallest of unresolved issues. We didn’t know when it moved in, we don’t remember it saying “Hello” and wiping its feet before it made its home in our heart. But we can certainly see the results of its residence.

In the book, The Sacred Romance written by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge, these little invaders are called “arrows.” Not only do the wounds left by them cause bitterness, resentment, and others, but they also keep us from experiencing the Great Romance (not the type felt between a man and woman) that God wrote into the universe. We don’t experience all that God has for us, because what has grown out of those wounds tells us the lie that the One calling to us isn’t good or loving.

My little danger is worry. I wrestle with it constantly. I evict it only to have it ring the doorbell again. It whispers to me that God isn’t watching and caring for me or those that I love. My problems are too big and beyond my God’s reach. What can we do against this assault? Is there anything we can do to rip up the roots of our little dangers? I firmly believe there is and that it is available to us. Find out what it is in the next post! I think you’ll agree that it is truly an encouraging thought!

Maximum Security

In the months leading up to my son’s birth, I did research – oh, so much research. I looked at the best products, health practices, labor and delivery options, and lots more. My Consumer Reports Manual on Baby Products was second only to my Bible. Okay, I admit it; it probably took my Bible’s place, which I know it shouldn’t have been allowed to do. I wanted the best and safest for my little guy. When he became mobile everything turned to “baby proofing.” I wanted everything locked away and out of reach from curious little fingers. We were quick to set boundaries for our little explorer and we do our best to enforce them regularly. All of this for his security and protection.

As parents we are dedicated to the protection of the little lives that have been entrusted to us. I for one, take pride in this task and seeing it accomplished. However, how much pride do I take in ensuring the protection of the one thing that affects everything I do? The one thing from which flows my desires and energies as a woman, wife, and mother. When I long for something this one thing is where I long for it from. Yet, do I do everything I can do to ensure its safety? During this month, especially for the next week, we will bombarded by hearts. Little hands will craft them for us, our loves will speak from them, and they will be hanging throughout the stores we visit.

With the exception of this month, how much thought do we give to our heart? I know I don’t give it much thought. Sure, physically, I try to make sure that it’s in top shape. But emotionally and spiritually, it doesn’t get much attention. I feel that God wants me to change this because, as a mom especially, I am a big fan of the heart. There is a verse in particular that has not left my mind since I saw the little pink and red decorations going up at my local grocery store, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do (Prov. 4:23). Wow! How important is this little muscle inside of us? I love how God works in object lessons. Physically, if our heart is done, so is our body. That muscle affects everything in our body and so it is with the core of our selves. Whatever our core self is, the rest of our actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs follows suit.

Throughout the next week, and maybe beyond, I will be discussing what we some things that we can guard our hearts against and more of why keeping our hearts safe is so important. It’s going to be good stuff, so stay tuned!

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.” Proverbs 27:19

Potty Training…the good, the bad, and…the good again

 “Go potty, go potty!”  I hear the little words come out of his mouth with urgency.  I think, “Yes, finally!  We’ve made real progress this time.”  Then, I look at his damp pants and frustration sets in.  Yet again, I have to rinse out underwear, pants, and perhaps a shirt.  What is it three times just today?  Doesn’t he know that I need to do other stuff today?  We’ve done everything we know to do:  starting early to just get him used to the idea, regular schedule (well…semi-regular), and have recently graduated to cloth training underwear instead of disposal ones.  Ugh!   

But then…as I put his fourth pair of pants for the day on him, he leans over, wraps his sweet little arms around me, and lets out a big “mmmmm” as he pats me on the on the back.  Oh, I melt.  All of the aggravation falls away and is replaced by that joy that can only come to a mom.  I am reminded that being interrupted from my other tasks in order to do a “potty run” can be used as just another opportunity for a sweet moment with my son.   

We get so caught up in all the tasks that fill our days.  We’ve got laundry, dinner, paperwork, and general cleaning that needs to be done.  Who has the time to sit down with our kids and get to know them?  But if we really look, opportunities can present themselves all the time for all sorts of things we can do with your kids.  Grocery stores can turn into a math lesson, the chore of cooking can be a time to get your hands gooey together, and bath time can turn into a splish-splashy playtime.  Isn’t spending time with them, knowing them, watching and helping them grow the reason we started staying at home in the first place?   

I am bad about getting too involved in the needs of the household while putting the needs of my son off until I get the next task done.  Just let me get the floors done…sound familiar?  But why does one have to suffer because of the other?  I have begun to try to do both at the same time.  For example, he puts the spoons away while I empty the rest of the dishwasher.  It is also a good time to do some counting.  We don’t have a long time with these angels that have been entrusted to us, each moment is precious, and maybe we need to make the most of them.   

I know there are plenty of you thinking “Wow, this is just now hitting you?  I realized this ages ago!” I’m glad that you’ve got a good head start.  I’m still trying to perfect my juggling act.  Leave a comment and share with us what works for you.  Perhaps it will give the rest of us some ideas for our daily schedules and some encouragement that it is actually possible.