The character of Melly in Gone with the Wind is one that sometimes I have mixed emotions about. She has these incredible attributes, but is (or maybe she isn’t) completely oblivious to some very bad activities going on right under her nose. There are times when I admire her ability to see good in everyone, and then there are times when I’m frustrated with how she can’t see a drop of mean in even the most distasteful characters. However, I have recently come across a description of her that I think may have reconciled all of those feelings into a genuine like for the character and what she embodies.
I return to the conversation between Scarlett and Grandma Fontaine in which Grandma describes Melanie as a strong woman that will be able to pull her family out of hard times much better than her husband. To this Scarlett laughs because all she can see of Melanie is the outward quiet. Grandma Fontaine points to the sense of calm authority and control, an air of gentle strength that is quite foreign to Scarlett. How many times do we as moms exhibit this? I know there are many times when I do not.
Although I fail at this sometimes, I love that I have the opportunity to show a quiet strength in the face of circumstances. There is no loud panic, but a resolute strength that is grounded in my faith that causes me to gently, but with purpose do what needs to be done. I am reminded of Psalm 18:35, "You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up,Your gentleness has made me great." This is a verse used by one of my sisters-in-law when interacting with her kids. Our Heavenly Father can make us great through His gentleness, and we can live that in front of our kids.
The lessons Melly teaches us doesn't stop hear. Check back to see what else Melly shows us is an important part of Motherhood!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Bend It Like Buckwheat - Part 2
As I was writing the last post, my eyes opened to another way in which we can be flexible. Yes, day to day tasks and interruptions can require a lot of bending, but that isn’t the only place that we have the choice to be dry, stiff, brittle, planted into our own vision.
I have yet to share the story of how our son came into our lives. It is one of my favorites, because not only is it the story of one of my greatest blessings, but also a story of life not turning out how I’d planned - it's better than I had planned. My husband and I had been married for a total of 8 months and were trying to get back to our “honeymoon phase” after dealing with a surgery for my husband, then a long hospital stay and recovery for my mom. Things were going well and we had gotten back into a good rhythm. He was continuing his undergrad education while I had just sent my application for a graduate program to a university in the area. Then, one day during a long weekend I emerge from the bathroom holding something my husband had never seen before. It was a stick that said I was pregnant. We were shocked. this wasn’t supposed to happen for another several years. We weren’t ready to be parents yet. I had always wanted to stay home with my kids when we started a family, but I hadn’t expected to start so early. I saw my plan of several years working in the field of I/O Psychology slipping through my fingers. My son is now two and we have made quite a journey from that day and so far we have learned a good deal about what it’s like to be buckwheat when it comes to the winds of God’s plan.
And that’s what I want to be when it comes to God’s will. I want to be bendable and shape-able. He has put in us hopes and dreams and it is those hopes and dreams that are a part of His will. We have beliefs, passions, and motivations. All of these are instrumental in pursuing His plan for us. However, we can get distracted. Maybe someone in our lives thinks that we should pursue something and it seems like a good idea. Perhaps you get distracted with your own vision. In the deepest places of your heart, you feel that this just isn’t going to fulfill you, but you go ahead with your plans anyway. But God calls to you again. Life happens and you find yourself seeing clearly what God had already drawn you to. For me, it was being a stay at home mom and one day using the experience in the field of childhood development.
So now what happens? Do you continue stubborn and planted in what you’ve planned or are you going to bend as what God called you to blows you in a different direction. Personally, I have been called back to something that whispered to me in the middle of a college classroom, and was taken away by fear. I am happier now than I have ever been. I feel complete and fulfilled, right where God wants me to be. Just remember in making that decision, what Grandma Fontaine said that stubborn, dry, stiff wheat ends up like after those winds of redirection blow.
I have yet to share the story of how our son came into our lives. It is one of my favorites, because not only is it the story of one of my greatest blessings, but also a story of life not turning out how I’d planned - it's better than I had planned. My husband and I had been married for a total of 8 months and were trying to get back to our “honeymoon phase” after dealing with a surgery for my husband, then a long hospital stay and recovery for my mom. Things were going well and we had gotten back into a good rhythm. He was continuing his undergrad education while I had just sent my application for a graduate program to a university in the area. Then, one day during a long weekend I emerge from the bathroom holding something my husband had never seen before. It was a stick that said I was pregnant. We were shocked. this wasn’t supposed to happen for another several years. We weren’t ready to be parents yet. I had always wanted to stay home with my kids when we started a family, but I hadn’t expected to start so early. I saw my plan of several years working in the field of I/O Psychology slipping through my fingers. My son is now two and we have made quite a journey from that day and so far we have learned a good deal about what it’s like to be buckwheat when it comes to the winds of God’s plan.
And that’s what I want to be when it comes to God’s will. I want to be bendable and shape-able. He has put in us hopes and dreams and it is those hopes and dreams that are a part of His will. We have beliefs, passions, and motivations. All of these are instrumental in pursuing His plan for us. However, we can get distracted. Maybe someone in our lives thinks that we should pursue something and it seems like a good idea. Perhaps you get distracted with your own vision. In the deepest places of your heart, you feel that this just isn’t going to fulfill you, but you go ahead with your plans anyway. But God calls to you again. Life happens and you find yourself seeing clearly what God had already drawn you to. For me, it was being a stay at home mom and one day using the experience in the field of childhood development.
So now what happens? Do you continue stubborn and planted in what you’ve planned or are you going to bend as what God called you to blows you in a different direction. Personally, I have been called back to something that whispered to me in the middle of a college classroom, and was taken away by fear. I am happier now than I have ever been. I feel complete and fulfilled, right where God wants me to be. Just remember in making that decision, what Grandma Fontaine said that stubborn, dry, stiff wheat ends up like after those winds of redirection blow.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I have found many little nuggets of truth as my son and I walk through northern Georgia with Scarlett and the rest. One of these urges us to let go of things that cause us to lose sight of our purpose. Another comes from a character named Grandma Fontaine. I really enjoy this character. She is a spunky old lady that is just too old to care about what anyone thinks. Her words are wise and she delivers them for the other person’s good whether it is what the person wants to hear or not.
Shortly after the funeral for her father, Scarlett finds herself in a private conversation with Grandma Fontaine. Although the two did not get along when Scarlett was a young girl, they now find that they have a lot in common and Grandma Fontaine decides to speak openly with Scarlett and to compliment her on how she adjusts to life. She likens herself and Scarlett to buckwheat, which differs from wheat in that it bends when strong winds come. Wheat breaks under such conditions. Most of their neighbors and friends, she says, are like wheat. They would not yield to the winds of change that were blowing into their lives. They insisted on staying right where they were, in the old ways of life, and as a result they were a broken people. She and Scarlett, though bent with the wind and when it was over still stood strong over the brokenness around them. They made the changes that were necessary to survive.
How often do the winds of change blow in our day to day lives and we need to survive them? This happens a lot to me and I must admit that I, currently, am more like wheat. I have my day planned out, my goals mapped. Nothing is going to stand in my way of having this day turn out exactly as I have planned! Then, the breeze picks up with the sound of a little boy sneezing, a fever running, the rain coming, the phone calls ringing, distractions increasing. In this I have a choice, am I going to become dry and stiff to the blowing wind and demand that this day go exactly how I want it to? Or, will I bend, let my agenda go and try to still make something out of the day?
I have found that not being like buckwheat can not only make the entire day a struggle on the outside, but can also affect the attitude in yourself and the household. It just seems to add to the turmoil already brewing. Yes, the day hasn’t been what I envisioned, but it has been another day to breathe, another day to kiss my husband, another day to run around with my son, another day to enjoy. Why waste it just because it didn’t turned out how I wanted?
You have no idea how difficult this will be for me. I really struggle with this type of concept. But I am determined to be less like wheat and get a little more sap in my day.
Shortly after the funeral for her father, Scarlett finds herself in a private conversation with Grandma Fontaine. Although the two did not get along when Scarlett was a young girl, they now find that they have a lot in common and Grandma Fontaine decides to speak openly with Scarlett and to compliment her on how she adjusts to life. She likens herself and Scarlett to buckwheat, which differs from wheat in that it bends when strong winds come. Wheat breaks under such conditions. Most of their neighbors and friends, she says, are like wheat. They would not yield to the winds of change that were blowing into their lives. They insisted on staying right where they were, in the old ways of life, and as a result they were a broken people. She and Scarlett, though bent with the wind and when it was over still stood strong over the brokenness around them. They made the changes that were necessary to survive.
How often do the winds of change blow in our day to day lives and we need to survive them? This happens a lot to me and I must admit that I, currently, am more like wheat. I have my day planned out, my goals mapped. Nothing is going to stand in my way of having this day turn out exactly as I have planned! Then, the breeze picks up with the sound of a little boy sneezing, a fever running, the rain coming, the phone calls ringing, distractions increasing. In this I have a choice, am I going to become dry and stiff to the blowing wind and demand that this day go exactly how I want it to? Or, will I bend, let my agenda go and try to still make something out of the day?
I have found that not being like buckwheat can not only make the entire day a struggle on the outside, but can also affect the attitude in yourself and the household. It just seems to add to the turmoil already brewing. Yes, the day hasn’t been what I envisioned, but it has been another day to breathe, another day to kiss my husband, another day to run around with my son, another day to enjoy. Why waste it just because it didn’t turned out how I wanted?
You have no idea how difficult this will be for me. I really struggle with this type of concept. But I am determined to be less like wheat and get a little more sap in my day.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Goodbye Gerald
My son usually falls asleep to a story. Well, most of the time, it’s a novel or history book. I read the novels and my husband reads to him out of whatever the current required reading is for one of his classes. I have no idea what my husband is reading to Caleb right now, but I am reading Gone with the Wind (without some of the more colorful language, of course). While I do not agree with many of the practices and concepts included, this book has always been dear to me as it is set in the area where I grew up. I’m also connected with the story because I see a lot of my mom’s childrearing practices in it. My sisters and I were raised to be ladies and my brothers to be gentlemen. Now, she didn’t adhere to the more outdated ways, but she taught appropriate and respectful behavior. Manners were quite a big deal in our home. So, for me, reading this book is like going home and seeing that red clay.
I was reading in it yesterday while my son tried to doze off for his nap, when a came across a speech that was given by one of the characters. It was given at the funeral of Gerald, the main character, Scarlett’s, father. From the mouth of a simple, even keeled man named Will, came a profound truth that struck me hard. He spoke of Gerald as a man that had come from another country, had different experiences, but was very much like his Southern neighbors in that “there warn’t nothin’ that come to him from the outside that could lick him.” Will told of a man who had seen and been through many difficult situations. In the face of each, “he just planted his front feet and stood his ground.” However, this same strong man “could be licked from the inside.” It was in the face of grief over his departed wife that he became “a mite addled.” He lost his sense of purpose and bearing. He was stuck. He wasn’t moving forward, but let something from the past hold him back from moving on with his life.
When I read that, I saw how I too can become “licked from the inside” by my own thoughts or from holding on to things in the past. Those things that we hold onto can be past hurts or maybe they are good things from the past, such as situations, events, or even people. We can also hold onto doubt, fear, distrust, and anger. All of these and others like them can steal away who we were before they crept into our lives. We can become disconnected from who we were and what we were called to do.
What I took from that is how unlike the later Gerald I want to be. I want to be like Gerald was in his prime, but with a twist. Instead of simply “planting my front feet,” I want to “stand my ground” with my feet firmly planted in the Word of God and His promises. I want to find my purpose in Him and what He has called me to do. This way there’s nothing that can come from the outside or the inside that can “lick me.”
I was reading in it yesterday while my son tried to doze off for his nap, when a came across a speech that was given by one of the characters. It was given at the funeral of Gerald, the main character, Scarlett’s, father. From the mouth of a simple, even keeled man named Will, came a profound truth that struck me hard. He spoke of Gerald as a man that had come from another country, had different experiences, but was very much like his Southern neighbors in that “there warn’t nothin’ that come to him from the outside that could lick him.” Will told of a man who had seen and been through many difficult situations. In the face of each, “he just planted his front feet and stood his ground.” However, this same strong man “could be licked from the inside.” It was in the face of grief over his departed wife that he became “a mite addled.” He lost his sense of purpose and bearing. He was stuck. He wasn’t moving forward, but let something from the past hold him back from moving on with his life.
When I read that, I saw how I too can become “licked from the inside” by my own thoughts or from holding on to things in the past. Those things that we hold onto can be past hurts or maybe they are good things from the past, such as situations, events, or even people. We can also hold onto doubt, fear, distrust, and anger. All of these and others like them can steal away who we were before they crept into our lives. We can become disconnected from who we were and what we were called to do.
What I took from that is how unlike the later Gerald I want to be. I want to be like Gerald was in his prime, but with a twist. Instead of simply “planting my front feet,” I want to “stand my ground” with my feet firmly planted in the Word of God and His promises. I want to find my purpose in Him and what He has called me to do. This way there’s nothing that can come from the outside or the inside that can “lick me.”
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Refreshing Waters
You’ve never had water until you’ve dipped your hand in an ice cold mountain stream and brought the crisp, clean water to your lips after a good walk. Oh, it is delicious! The water is untouched by chemicals (yes, I know that it has been touched by various woodland creatures), and tastes like nothing else. The memory of that water is one of my fondest childhood memories. I can still remember how cold it was and how clean it tasted.
I was reading in Proverbs 17 today, and came across verse 4 – “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” It is so true that words can be just as refreshing as that cold stream that I drank from as a child. They can revive a person that is parched from life.
As moms, we can refresh each other with our words. It seems that few things wear us down like the journey of motherhood. There are those places and people along the way that are just like a cold spring who renew our strength using just their words. It can be a mentor that stays with you for the whole journey. Maybe it’s just that sweet person behind you in the checkout aisle at the grocery store that’s “been there” and tells you that you’re doing a great job at handling your rambunctious crew when you think that you’ve, yet again, failed as a mom.
It has been evident to me on more than one occasion that moms can reach other moms in a special way. We have the power to encourage each other, to make each other reach higher levels. We also have the power to destroy dreams and spirits. Just log onto just about any forum sight out there and you will find perfect examples of both and this is heartbreaking. We have comfort happening in one discussion and venomous words spewing in another. Before going any further, let me say that when the health and safety of a child is involved then correction is needed. I do not think that when a child is being hurt in any way that fellow mothers should be silent. With that said, let me continue. A difference of opinion is what typically brings about these heated exchanges. In some cases several contributors might gang up on the one that has a differing opinion.
I know that as moms, we are passionate. We’re passionate about almost anything that involves our kids. I think God made us this way for a reason. It creates something in us that enables us to take care of our children, and when used in that manner it is a wonderful thing. However, when we verbally assault another mom because she may not hold something quite as dear as we do, many times it crushes her spirit. Perhaps she questions whether or not she is a fit mother. She may doubt her abilities. She may try to fit into a mold that was never intended to be hers.
It really does sadden me to see this going on. Places where moms are able to connect, whether it is in person or on the computer, should be a place where moms can find comfort, shelter, friendship, strength, and information. Maybe the information aspect will persuade them to do something differently or just have a greater respect for those that do hold another opinion.
I’m not perfect at this. Although, I am not one for confrontation I frequently find myself fuming over the decision of another mom. It isn’t hurting the child, but according to my research and opinion is not best. I may still hold my opinion, but it doesn’t excuse me from being to that mom what we should all be to each other – “life giving water and refreshing brooks” through our words.
I was reading in Proverbs 17 today, and came across verse 4 – “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” It is so true that words can be just as refreshing as that cold stream that I drank from as a child. They can revive a person that is parched from life.
As moms, we can refresh each other with our words. It seems that few things wear us down like the journey of motherhood. There are those places and people along the way that are just like a cold spring who renew our strength using just their words. It can be a mentor that stays with you for the whole journey. Maybe it’s just that sweet person behind you in the checkout aisle at the grocery store that’s “been there” and tells you that you’re doing a great job at handling your rambunctious crew when you think that you’ve, yet again, failed as a mom.
It has been evident to me on more than one occasion that moms can reach other moms in a special way. We have the power to encourage each other, to make each other reach higher levels. We also have the power to destroy dreams and spirits. Just log onto just about any forum sight out there and you will find perfect examples of both and this is heartbreaking. We have comfort happening in one discussion and venomous words spewing in another. Before going any further, let me say that when the health and safety of a child is involved then correction is needed. I do not think that when a child is being hurt in any way that fellow mothers should be silent. With that said, let me continue. A difference of opinion is what typically brings about these heated exchanges. In some cases several contributors might gang up on the one that has a differing opinion.
I know that as moms, we are passionate. We’re passionate about almost anything that involves our kids. I think God made us this way for a reason. It creates something in us that enables us to take care of our children, and when used in that manner it is a wonderful thing. However, when we verbally assault another mom because she may not hold something quite as dear as we do, many times it crushes her spirit. Perhaps she questions whether or not she is a fit mother. She may doubt her abilities. She may try to fit into a mold that was never intended to be hers.
It really does sadden me to see this going on. Places where moms are able to connect, whether it is in person or on the computer, should be a place where moms can find comfort, shelter, friendship, strength, and information. Maybe the information aspect will persuade them to do something differently or just have a greater respect for those that do hold another opinion.
I’m not perfect at this. Although, I am not one for confrontation I frequently find myself fuming over the decision of another mom. It isn’t hurting the child, but according to my research and opinion is not best. I may still hold my opinion, but it doesn’t excuse me from being to that mom what we should all be to each other – “life giving water and refreshing brooks” through our words.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Nothing for Today...and Yet...
I have to be honest, I really have nothing today. I have pondered all day what to share with you all and I keep coming back to...nothing. Do you ever have those days?
On these type of days, I face some of my biggest challenges as a mom. I feel a little lost and everything that tries to beckon me out of the fog and back into a clear world is a nuisance. Patience is thin and vision is blurred. And with my vision blurred I start to question other things, such as my place as a stay at home mom. I doubt my calling. I think that is the worst part about these types of days. I hate not having goals and a vision, well at least not being able to see them clearly and pursue them with a decided course. I lose sight of who I am and what my place is here.
I know my little guy picks up on this. He gets confused because mommy is in "a funk." No matter how I try to act normal, he can always tell in his young mind.
I can't help but think of the character that Meg Ryan plays in You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly. She is owns a children's bookstore, the same one that her mother owned. One day, she asks her boyfriend what it is that she actually does to which he replies that she is a "lone reed." I think of this on those days and I ask myself, "What is it that I do?" But the answer of "lone reed" is not accurate. That's what I want to get across with this post because I know that almost every mom out there asks herself this question from time to time. This is one of the things that I want to communicate with this blog: that we all fail sometimes, sometimes we all lose sight of vision, we all have days where we feel like "supermom," we all have days that everything is clear and life is a beautiful thing. Be encouraged that many other moms have shared in what your day is today whether it's a great one or a challenge. We've all been there or will soon have our day in that place.
This is not a post for pity, but is instead just something encouraging sent out to, in Kathleen's words, the void. So, as Kathleen would say "goodnight void," I hope you've found this to be encouraging. I know I have.
On these type of days, I face some of my biggest challenges as a mom. I feel a little lost and everything that tries to beckon me out of the fog and back into a clear world is a nuisance. Patience is thin and vision is blurred. And with my vision blurred I start to question other things, such as my place as a stay at home mom. I doubt my calling. I think that is the worst part about these types of days. I hate not having goals and a vision, well at least not being able to see them clearly and pursue them with a decided course. I lose sight of who I am and what my place is here.
I know my little guy picks up on this. He gets confused because mommy is in "a funk." No matter how I try to act normal, he can always tell in his young mind.
I can't help but think of the character that Meg Ryan plays in You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly. She is owns a children's bookstore, the same one that her mother owned. One day, she asks her boyfriend what it is that she actually does to which he replies that she is a "lone reed." I think of this on those days and I ask myself, "What is it that I do?" But the answer of "lone reed" is not accurate. That's what I want to get across with this post because I know that almost every mom out there asks herself this question from time to time. This is one of the things that I want to communicate with this blog: that we all fail sometimes, sometimes we all lose sight of vision, we all have days where we feel like "supermom," we all have days that everything is clear and life is a beautiful thing. Be encouraged that many other moms have shared in what your day is today whether it's a great one or a challenge. We've all been there or will soon have our day in that place.
This is not a post for pity, but is instead just something encouraging sent out to, in Kathleen's words, the void. So, as Kathleen would say "goodnight void," I hope you've found this to be encouraging. I know I have.
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Heart of a Mother
Let’s go back to the verse that started all of this, Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do,” and bring it back to the central reason for this blog, the journey of motherhood. As moms, it is especially important because “all” includes our way of mothering.
The importance of the heart isn’t lost on one of the greatest pediatrician’s ever to practice (well, at least in my opinion). Throughout her 75 year practice she taught moms that they already have what they need to be great moms, and it did not include having a good pediatrician for your child. I completely agree. Armed with common sense, responsibility, and our hearts, we have been provided with the best equipment possible to be great moms.
Knowing that our heart affects all that we do also calls attention to a warning: what happens when your heart isn’t as it is supposed to be? What if it is filled with bitterness or worry? What if doubts have taken root in our heart? I know that I can see when I have a new unwanted visitor in my heart. I see it in living color as I interact with my son. It negatively affects the way that I act towards him. That is when I know to do as David did (see Enemies of Another Kind post), do what I can do, offer the rest to God, then praise Him for the victory as I watch Him defeat that enemy. Immediately, after the problem has been uprooted I see a difference in my mothering.
What happens, though, when it is a deep rooted issue? When the enemy has been housed in your heart for a long time? Maybe you carry scars from childhood. Maybe when you were a teenager you received one of those arrows that Brent Curtis and John Eldridge spoke of (see Small Visitors Can Cause Big Problems)in their book. First, professional assistance, such as counseling, may be needed. However, whether you need professional assistance is needed or not, the process outlined by David still applies. The only difference is that the process will be a longer one, but one in which there will be progress. And progress is a victory in itself. Just pursue those little victories and praise God for every one of them. One day you’ll do an inventory on your heart and find that your heart has changed and for the better.
The heart is also where God whispers to us. For me, it has been extremely important to keep my heart in a place where God can speak through it. It has been in His whispers that I have found the most profound advice in how to be the mom He has called me to be. He knows what our children need because He made them. He knows what they cannot communicate when they are very small or just don’t understand. He can lead you in the journey of motherhood like no one else can. His whispers bring answers and peace; your heart just needs to be a place to hear Him.
I encourage you not to forget your heart after the pink and red decorations come down. Always keep an eye on it, guard it. And when you find that something is knocking, make sure that the only one you let in is your Savior who will only bring with Him the greatest love ever known. With that love there is no limit to the kind of mom you can be for your kids.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope it is a great one!
The importance of the heart isn’t lost on one of the greatest pediatrician’s ever to practice (well, at least in my opinion). Throughout her 75 year practice she taught moms that they already have what they need to be great moms, and it did not include having a good pediatrician for your child. I completely agree. Armed with common sense, responsibility, and our hearts, we have been provided with the best equipment possible to be great moms.
Knowing that our heart affects all that we do also calls attention to a warning: what happens when your heart isn’t as it is supposed to be? What if it is filled with bitterness or worry? What if doubts have taken root in our heart? I know that I can see when I have a new unwanted visitor in my heart. I see it in living color as I interact with my son. It negatively affects the way that I act towards him. That is when I know to do as David did (see Enemies of Another Kind post), do what I can do, offer the rest to God, then praise Him for the victory as I watch Him defeat that enemy. Immediately, after the problem has been uprooted I see a difference in my mothering.
What happens, though, when it is a deep rooted issue? When the enemy has been housed in your heart for a long time? Maybe you carry scars from childhood. Maybe when you were a teenager you received one of those arrows that Brent Curtis and John Eldridge spoke of (see Small Visitors Can Cause Big Problems)in their book. First, professional assistance, such as counseling, may be needed. However, whether you need professional assistance is needed or not, the process outlined by David still applies. The only difference is that the process will be a longer one, but one in which there will be progress. And progress is a victory in itself. Just pursue those little victories and praise God for every one of them. One day you’ll do an inventory on your heart and find that your heart has changed and for the better.
The heart is also where God whispers to us. For me, it has been extremely important to keep my heart in a place where God can speak through it. It has been in His whispers that I have found the most profound advice in how to be the mom He has called me to be. He knows what our children need because He made them. He knows what they cannot communicate when they are very small or just don’t understand. He can lead you in the journey of motherhood like no one else can. His whispers bring answers and peace; your heart just needs to be a place to hear Him.
I encourage you not to forget your heart after the pink and red decorations come down. Always keep an eye on it, guard it. And when you find that something is knocking, make sure that the only one you let in is your Savior who will only bring with Him the greatest love ever known. With that love there is no limit to the kind of mom you can be for your kids.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope it is a great one!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Enemies of Another Kind
I sigh and roll my eyes again - another psalm about people coming to kill me. Well, there couldn’t possibly be anything for me in here, on to the next one. About a year ago, this was a frequent thought when reading through King David’s writings. Then one day I stopped, because God whispered something to me that changed my view completely. “You know, not all enemies are physical.” Well, there’s a different perspective! So, I went back to the one I had begun reading in the first place and read it with a different mindset, one that saw enemies as some of the things I discussed in the last post. And, as we discussed earlier, those are enemies that can kill your heart. Sometimes, because they have killed your heart they can affect you physically, but that’s another subject.
The best part though, was yet to come. In most of these types of psalms, the writer sets the scene first. He describes the horrible things that are happening to him at the hands of those trying to kill him. Our unseen enemies do the same thing. But, then the writer leaves the subject of his enemies overwhelming him, and turns to praising God for the victory he wins over all that are pursuing him! These psalms are usually finished with praise to God who has delivered him.
What does this mean for us as we wrestle with those enemies? God will defeat those unseen enemies too! Get into His Word, claim the promises about the defeat of your enemies, draw close to Him, and watch what He will do. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we sit back and relax. God still expects us to do our part. There are times when our part is hard work. David had to fight His physical enemies at times, and we also have to fight against our enemies of doubt, bitterness, and the like. However, we are not alone. When we feel that we are losing the battle, that there just isn’t anything else we can do, God takes us further and wins the victory.
So, whatever your enemy, or maybe you struggle with several, do what you know you can do, stay close to God by seeking Him in His Word, and give the rest to Him. You’ll find yourself doing as David did, ending that battle praising God for the victory He one.
What are some of your favorite scriptures when you are facing an enemy of your heart? Which ones grow your faith the most?
Psalm 18:3 – I will call on the Lord, who is worthy if praise, for He saves me from my enemies.
The best part though, was yet to come. In most of these types of psalms, the writer sets the scene first. He describes the horrible things that are happening to him at the hands of those trying to kill him. Our unseen enemies do the same thing. But, then the writer leaves the subject of his enemies overwhelming him, and turns to praising God for the victory he wins over all that are pursuing him! These psalms are usually finished with praise to God who has delivered him.
What does this mean for us as we wrestle with those enemies? God will defeat those unseen enemies too! Get into His Word, claim the promises about the defeat of your enemies, draw close to Him, and watch what He will do. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we sit back and relax. God still expects us to do our part. There are times when our part is hard work. David had to fight His physical enemies at times, and we also have to fight against our enemies of doubt, bitterness, and the like. However, we are not alone. When we feel that we are losing the battle, that there just isn’t anything else we can do, God takes us further and wins the victory.
So, whatever your enemy, or maybe you struggle with several, do what you know you can do, stay close to God by seeking Him in His Word, and give the rest to Him. You’ll find yourself doing as David did, ending that battle praising God for the victory He one.
What are some of your favorite scriptures when you are facing an enemy of your heart? Which ones grow your faith the most?
Psalm 18:3 – I will call on the Lord, who is worthy if praise, for He saves me from my enemies.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Small Visitors Can Cause Big Problems
So, now we know that we need to guard our hearts and give that task the attention it deserves, in much the same way that we “child proof” our homes. But like “child proofing”, it can be an overwhelming undertaking to know exactly what we need to secure our hearts against. I know there is a multitude of threats that endanger our hearts and I’m sure you’ve already thought of many of them. I’m not going to do an exhaustive list of the more obvious, but instead I will give just a few examples of the ones that many times will go overlooked.
No matter how much research and careful attention we pay to what needs to be out of reach of tiny hands, there’s always something that we just don’t think about until we see the child with it or crawling into it. It is very similar with the heart. Our guard is up in all the other places, but we let our biggest foes sneak through in ways we just didn’t expect. These foes are the unnoticeable ones, that is, until they get rooted and grow. Then they are the ones that do the most damage and are the most difficult to get rid of. I’m referring to things like bitterness, resentment, and worry.
They can make their way in through words and actions. Someone wrongs you or maybe one too many bad things have happened to you. Unknowingly, we feed and water these little weeds. Something triggers a bitter thought which is followed by another which leads to another. The next thing you know, you’re in a foul mood with nothing but bitter thoughts filling your mind. The day, full of blessings, has been stolen and is now a gray haze of anger. Where did it all start? It’s hard to remember. It usually starts with just the smallest of unresolved issues. We didn’t know when it moved in, we don’t remember it saying “Hello” and wiping its feet before it made its home in our heart. But we can certainly see the results of its residence.
In the book, The Sacred Romance written by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge, these little invaders are called “arrows.” Not only do the wounds left by them cause bitterness, resentment, and others, but they also keep us from experiencing the Great Romance (not the type felt between a man and woman) that God wrote into the universe. We don’t experience all that God has for us, because what has grown out of those wounds tells us the lie that the One calling to us isn’t good or loving.
My little danger is worry. I wrestle with it constantly. I evict it only to have it ring the doorbell again. It whispers to me that God isn’t watching and caring for me or those that I love. My problems are too big and beyond my God’s reach. What can we do against this assault? Is there anything we can do to rip up the roots of our little dangers? I firmly believe there is and that it is available to us. Find out what it is in the next post! I think you’ll agree that it is truly an encouraging thought!
No matter how much research and careful attention we pay to what needs to be out of reach of tiny hands, there’s always something that we just don’t think about until we see the child with it or crawling into it. It is very similar with the heart. Our guard is up in all the other places, but we let our biggest foes sneak through in ways we just didn’t expect. These foes are the unnoticeable ones, that is, until they get rooted and grow. Then they are the ones that do the most damage and are the most difficult to get rid of. I’m referring to things like bitterness, resentment, and worry.
They can make their way in through words and actions. Someone wrongs you or maybe one too many bad things have happened to you. Unknowingly, we feed and water these little weeds. Something triggers a bitter thought which is followed by another which leads to another. The next thing you know, you’re in a foul mood with nothing but bitter thoughts filling your mind. The day, full of blessings, has been stolen and is now a gray haze of anger. Where did it all start? It’s hard to remember. It usually starts with just the smallest of unresolved issues. We didn’t know when it moved in, we don’t remember it saying “Hello” and wiping its feet before it made its home in our heart. But we can certainly see the results of its residence.
In the book, The Sacred Romance written by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge, these little invaders are called “arrows.” Not only do the wounds left by them cause bitterness, resentment, and others, but they also keep us from experiencing the Great Romance (not the type felt between a man and woman) that God wrote into the universe. We don’t experience all that God has for us, because what has grown out of those wounds tells us the lie that the One calling to us isn’t good or loving.
My little danger is worry. I wrestle with it constantly. I evict it only to have it ring the doorbell again. It whispers to me that God isn’t watching and caring for me or those that I love. My problems are too big and beyond my God’s reach. What can we do against this assault? Is there anything we can do to rip up the roots of our little dangers? I firmly believe there is and that it is available to us. Find out what it is in the next post! I think you’ll agree that it is truly an encouraging thought!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Maximum Security
In the months leading up to my son’s birth, I did research – oh, so much research. I looked at the best products, health practices, labor and delivery options, and lots more. My Consumer Reports Manual on Baby Products was second only to my Bible. Okay, I admit it; it probably took my Bible’s place, which I know it shouldn’t have been allowed to do. I wanted the best and safest for my little guy. When he became mobile everything turned to “baby proofing.” I wanted everything locked away and out of reach from curious little fingers. We were quick to set boundaries for our little explorer and we do our best to enforce them regularly. All of this for his security and protection.
As parents we are dedicated to the protection of the little lives that have been entrusted to us. I for one, take pride in this task and seeing it accomplished. However, how much pride do I take in ensuring the protection of the one thing that affects everything I do? The one thing from which flows my desires and energies as a woman, wife, and mother. When I long for something this one thing is where I long for it from. Yet, do I do everything I can do to ensure its safety? During this month, especially for the next week, we will bombarded by hearts. Little hands will craft them for us, our loves will speak from them, and they will be hanging throughout the stores we visit.
With the exception of this month, how much thought do we give to our heart? I know I don’t give it much thought. Sure, physically, I try to make sure that it’s in top shape. But emotionally and spiritually, it doesn’t get much attention. I feel that God wants me to change this because, as a mom especially, I am a big fan of the heart. There is a verse in particular that has not left my mind since I saw the little pink and red decorations going up at my local grocery store, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do (Prov. 4:23). Wow! How important is this little muscle inside of us? I love how God works in object lessons. Physically, if our heart is done, so is our body. That muscle affects everything in our body and so it is with the core of our selves. Whatever our core self is, the rest of our actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs follows suit.
Throughout the next week, and maybe beyond, I will be discussing what we some things that we can guard our hearts against and more of why keeping our hearts safe is so important. It’s going to be good stuff, so stay tuned!
“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.” Proverbs 27:19
As parents we are dedicated to the protection of the little lives that have been entrusted to us. I for one, take pride in this task and seeing it accomplished. However, how much pride do I take in ensuring the protection of the one thing that affects everything I do? The one thing from which flows my desires and energies as a woman, wife, and mother. When I long for something this one thing is where I long for it from. Yet, do I do everything I can do to ensure its safety? During this month, especially for the next week, we will bombarded by hearts. Little hands will craft them for us, our loves will speak from them, and they will be hanging throughout the stores we visit.
With the exception of this month, how much thought do we give to our heart? I know I don’t give it much thought. Sure, physically, I try to make sure that it’s in top shape. But emotionally and spiritually, it doesn’t get much attention. I feel that God wants me to change this because, as a mom especially, I am a big fan of the heart. There is a verse in particular that has not left my mind since I saw the little pink and red decorations going up at my local grocery store, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do (Prov. 4:23). Wow! How important is this little muscle inside of us? I love how God works in object lessons. Physically, if our heart is done, so is our body. That muscle affects everything in our body and so it is with the core of our selves. Whatever our core self is, the rest of our actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs follows suit.
Throughout the next week, and maybe beyond, I will be discussing what we some things that we can guard our hearts against and more of why keeping our hearts safe is so important. It’s going to be good stuff, so stay tuned!
“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.” Proverbs 27:19
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Potty Training…the good, the bad, and…the good again
“Go potty, go potty!” I hear the little words come out of his mouth with urgency. I think, “Yes, finally! We’ve made real progress this time.” Then, I look at his damp pants and frustration sets in. Yet again, I have to rinse out underwear, pants, and perhaps a shirt. What is it three times just today? Doesn’t he know that I need to do other stuff today? We’ve done everything we know to do: starting early to just get him used to the idea, regular schedule (well…semi-regular), and have recently graduated to cloth training underwear instead of disposal ones. Ugh!
But then…as I put his fourth pair of pants for the day on him, he leans over, wraps his sweet little arms around me, and lets out a big “mmmmm” as he pats me on the on the back. Oh, I melt. All of the aggravation falls away and is replaced by that joy that can only come to a mom. I am reminded that being interrupted from my other tasks in order to do a “potty run” can be used as just another opportunity for a sweet moment with my son.
We get so caught up in all the tasks that fill our days. We’ve got laundry, dinner, paperwork, and general cleaning that needs to be done. Who has the time to sit down with our kids and get to know them? But if we really look, opportunities can present themselves all the time for all sorts of things we can do with your kids. Grocery stores can turn into a math lesson, the chore of cooking can be a time to get your hands gooey together, and bath time can turn into a splish-splashy playtime. Isn’t spending time with them, knowing them, watching and helping them grow the reason we started staying at home in the first place?
I am bad about getting too involved in the needs of the household while putting the needs of my son off until I get the next task done. Just let me get the floors done…sound familiar? But why does one have to suffer because of the other? I have begun to try to do both at the same time. For example, he puts the spoons away while I empty the rest of the dishwasher. It is also a good time to do some counting. We don’t have a long time with these angels that have been entrusted to us, each moment is precious, and maybe we need to make the most of them.
I know there are plenty of you thinking “Wow, this is just now hitting you? I realized this ages ago!” I’m glad that you’ve got a good head start. I’m still trying to perfect my juggling act. Leave a comment and share with us what works for you. Perhaps it will give the rest of us some ideas for our daily schedules and some encouragement that it is actually possible.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Large Armor
“I can’t go in these!” This was David’s reaction when King Saul tried to put his own armor on David before the battle with Goliath (the story from the last post – 1 Samuel 17). King Saul was just trying to help. He saw a small kid standing in front him, who insisted he was the one to defeat the giant Goliath. I can just hear what he was saying to himself, “Well, if this kid really wants to do this, I’m going to do what I can to make him come back in one piece…that is, if he comes back.” Saul’s heart was in the right place, but David knew it just wasn’t he needed for the battle. It would not help, but hinder.
How many times do we do this to ourselves as moms? Or maybe we have someone in our lives that does it for us. We think, “This is what I need to succeed at this” or “if only I could do this, I’d be a better mom.” Me? I do it to myself. No, I don’t need any help in this department. My weakness is seeing more tangible talents in others. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have strengths, but they aren’t as tangible as others. Sometimes, I find myself dreaming of sewing, knitting, creating, inventing. Yes, creativity is my “large armor.” Of course, it’s okay for me to pursue these things, but it isn’t what comes naturally. I have to work hard at anything remotely creative, and even then it usually isn’t what I’ve envisioned. However, organization, structure, planning is what comes naturally to me. Staples is as close to heaven on earth as it gets for me. Sounds great right? Most of the time, the answer to this is, yes. But there are times when I think, a truly good wife and mother would do it ALL. She would organize and create with the best of them. I should be creating the world’s best filing system with one hand, keeping up with my toddler with the other, and with my feet be working on a craft that would make even Martha Stewart green with envy.
How silly this sounds on paper! David knew better than to buy into this kind of thinking. He knew that he had been equipped with what he needed, even though that armor looked like what was missing, it just didn’t fit him. Natural creativity doesn’t necessarily fit me and isn’t what is vital to who I am as a wife, mother, person. God has given me all the gifts and talents I need for what he has called me to. Some of these I know of already and others He is growing in me and others are waiting on me to grow. I can still stretch myself beyond what I feel comes naturally. That is a good thing to do. Don’t shrug off opportunities to grow yourself and your abilities. The important thing is to be satisfied with what God has equipped you with already and to recognized when something just doesn’t fit and would be more of a hindrance than a help in what He has for you.
Do you struggle with this? What is your “large armor?” What has God equipped you with that fits just perfectly?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Simple Objects
In preparing my recent post about the simple gifts that we can find in the craziness of life, I tripped upon another facet of simplicity that I really wanted to share. Simple objects in our lives are often overlooked and not taken for the potentially powerful thing that it is. Sometimes we as mothers ask ourselves, “What is it that I possess, physically or spiritually that is actually significant?” Is all that we do change diapers and wipe snotty noses?
I was reminded of two stories that will shed light on these and other questions. The first is the story of David and Goliath. In this story, found in 1 Samuel 17, David uses simple objects to defeat a foe that was causing the whole nation of Israel to quiver. David had the task of watching sheep, a shepherd. He was equipped with a shepherd’s simple weapon, a sling, and five stones that he had picked up. David had been obedient in serving as a shepherd and God used what David had in that role to claim victory for the Israelites.
Another story is that of Gideon. Currently, I can only picture a cucumber in a marching band outfit with a tuba around him. I know there is a serious story in the Bible, but I was reminded of this because my son loves Veggie Tales and that is what comes to mind. Besides, the Veggie Tale story is cuter! Gideon was called to deliver Israel from the Midianites. He started out with an army that God later reduced to a surprisingly low number. A small army, pitchers, lamps, and trumpets won the victory over this large strong army. Gideon was obedient with small and simple and through that God did amazing things.
There are many other examples of this concept that I would love to share. However, I know that I need to have at least one shorter blog post every once in a while. Check out the story of Bessie Paget, a woman that offered what she could give, a meal and a place to stay for travelers in England. Through those simple objects, orphans were given a place to stay, two continents heard the gospel, and so much more.
I know that many times we feel that we are only equipped with a spatula and a tub full of baby wipes. What we see as simple, God can make mighty. You have hands ready to heal, arms ready to hold, a heart ready to love. Give what you have to God and watch what he can do!
Judges 6:14 – “Then the Lord turned to him (Gideon) and said, ‘Go with the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midinanites. I am sending you!”
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Something Worth Sharing
Yesterday, during my local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting we were presented with a selection from a blog. It seems many of the moms from the group follow this blog and were touched by a recent post entitled "Twirl." I must say that I was quite struck by it. The words and thoughts seemed to resound throughout my whole being. It was apparent that I was not the only one truly warmed by this mother's insight. Now, I would like to share it with you. I encourage you to read it, then as we did yesterday, close your eyes and picture yourself twirling before your Heavenly Father as He rejoices over you.
Learn to Twirl
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I'd also like to thank the author of this post, Emily, for sharing such a wonderful piece of encouragement with us.
Learn to Twirl
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I'd also like to thank the author of this post, Emily, for sharing such a wonderful piece of encouragement with us.
Monday, January 24, 2011
"Simple Gifts"
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak”- Hans Hoffman
Simplicity is something I think about often. It is my hope that I find this going through my mind frequently because it is something that is a worthwhile goal instead of trying to make our small budget look more appealing. In my heart, I feel that it is the former. I truly love simplicity – in décor, fashion, and life in general. There is such truth in the above quote – by simplifying, doing away with what is unnecessary, we can let the things that are most important, the necessary, stand in the spotlight where we can admire and cherish it.
Before I go any further, let me be clear in saying that I do not believe that a person should not have a large house, a closet full of clothes, a long list of memberships to associations and clubs, or the like. However, what I am saying with this post is that it shouldn’t distract from being able to enjoy the blessing of plenty of storage space or the satisfaction of a job well done in the organizations of which are a part. The things in your life should still bring you joy not overwhelming stress.
In her book, Dr. Denmark Said It! Madia Bowmen speaks to this very issue. She encourages mothers to “get back to the basics,” which according to Mrs. Bowmen is finding joy in “doing a good job with the basics – clean clothes, a clean house, and nourishing food.” She basis this on the scripture, Phil. 4:9, which says, “God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Bowman, 147). God gives us just what we need and in that we can find satisfaction. It is when busyness and extracurricular activities invade the simplicity of the basics that feelings of stress and being overwhelmed can creep in and steal contentment. And it is this contentment that is extremely important to the “tranquility of your home (Bowman, 148).
How then do we change our attitude? First, let’s take a cue from those that we can learn from the most, our kids. In Matthew 18, we are taught a profound truth about how we are to be at heart. We are to be like children, who are, among other things, simplistic. They have simple faith and find beauty in the simplest object. Things aren’t complicated and confused, they are straightforward and simple.
The apostle Paul later wrote in Philippians 4, that he “learned to be satisfied with the things he had and with everything that happens.” It is here that we can find the second way to change our attitude by learning to be satisfied. This doesn’t mean that we become lazy in our approach to things. For example, taking stands against things we do not agree with or trying to change circumstances we feel is a negative influence on our loved ones. We can want things to change, but let’s try not to let that make us bitter and unsatisfied.
Lastly, a thought that can help us change our attitude is one highlighted by the author of Mommy Grace.” In her book, Dr. Sheila Coleman describes a situation that taught her how important it is to be an example in what we care about (p. 108). She warns us to show our kids, by example, what is important in life because it is what we care about that they will care about as well (p.109). We have opportunities every day to show how important it is to still find simple beauty amongst the daily rush. You may not find out what effect this had on your kids until later, but I’m pretty sure that later when they are recalling memories, a few of them will be those times when things weren’t going so well for whatever reason you had everyone stop just to admire something simple.
Again, I’m not saying that we should not want nice things or strive for success. What I am saying though is, don’t let it hinder the simple beauty that is life. Look up from the dishes to see your child smiling as he or she plays. Look past the fact that right now you live in a home that has less room than you’d like and find relief in the fact that it doesn’t take as long to clean as a bigger house. Feel the warm, comfort of your grandmother’s voice on the phone instead of being frustrated that your day was interrupted by yet another phone call. Take a break from the stove to watch your husband play with your kids while you finish up supper. Forget the fact that you will have to fight ants if you eat outside and take the family on a picnic instead of watching TV. Try to look through all the clutter that life brings and see the simple beauty that is still there.
“Simple Gifts” by Joseph White
Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
Resources:
Bowman, Madia L. Dr. Denmark Said It!: Advice to Mothers from America's Most Experienced Pediatrician. [M. Bowman]: Cumming, Ga., 2001. Print.
Coleman, Sheila Schuller. Mommy Grace: Erasing Your Mommy Guilt. New York: Faith Words, 2009. Print.
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